An Update on the Boys

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

so....

He is worthy of all praise! And we thank Him for his Sovereign grace.

Family and Friends, let me just say that your thoughts and prayers surrounding our boys have been truly appreciated and felt during all the appointments and tests the last few weeks have held.

So far, we have received mostly good news.

I will begin with Joel. He has had more tests, x-rays, and blood work. At this point the Doctors agree the best course of action is to begin him on the treatment for a latent infection. This is actually good news. It means he is not actively sick. He is not contagious. And once the treatment is done, he will have less chance of ever becoming actively sick or contagious. Praise the Lord!

After 3 IV attempts (poor buddy) and the CT Scan we do not yet have conclusive answers as to what is causing the bump and abnormal swelling on Luke's head. We do now know it is not in the bone (i.e. a bone disorder or congenital defect). It is not intracranial (a tumor in the brain). And there is no large feeding vessel to the area (which rules out traumatic aneurysm). It is a 2mm x 16mm x 18mm soft tissue ill-defined lesion. Unfortunately, CT's apparently don't take very clear pictures of soft tissue, which means Luke will now need an MRI to offer a better dilienation of the tissue. He will undergo anesthesia for this procedure which of course make mommy a little nervous. But as long as we get good conclusive results with the MRI, we will hopefully be able to avoid the biopsy which would require anesthesia and leave a scar on his precious little face.

We really feel a peace at this time that things are moving in the right direction and that the results from Luke's MRI will not be too serious. It will be nice to have clearer answers to the concerns surrounding both of our boys. We know that ultimately God is in control, whatever the results and He loves our boys better than we ever could. As parents, we just want to be sure we are doing what's necessary for their best!

Please continue to join us in prayer that Joel's treatment will go smoothly with no ill side-effects to his liver or otherwise. And that Luke's MRI results will be conclusive and give no cause for further concern.

Prayer Request

Did you know that if the Earth was the size of a golfball, the largest star that has been discovered (so far) would have a diameter the height of Mt. Everest? Pretty amazing, huh? (thank you Louis Giglio for sharing that information!)

vs.

Kind of gives me a different, better, bigger perspective of the Creator of ALL things. I suppose if He can keep that huge mass up in the sky and design and keep all the galaxies of the universe afloat, He can handle whatever I'm facing. And not only can He handle it,...He cares about it.

1. 
   

1. Matthew 6:30

1. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you.

1. 
   

1. Philippians 4:6-7

1. Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

SO.....

With all that in mind, please be in prayer for Luke and Joel. We are facing some medical concerns with both boys. I recognize that no matter how it seems to us, none of this catches God by surprise and He is in control. Nonetheless, we would appreciate your prayers concerning our precious sons.

Luke was referred to a Dr. at Children's Mercy for the 'bump" on his forehead. To catch some of you up, Luke has had this bump since August and it doesn't seem to go away, Also, whenever he bumps his head at all, it reacts very strangely (different than your normal goose-egg), and does so again and again in the same spot regardless of how hard he bumps his head. We went there yesterday and the Specialist has ordered a CT scan of Luke's head. Luke will be sedated for the procedure which will take place on Monday, November 28. I'm not thrilled with the idea of Luke having all that radiation on his little tiny body, but as my sister who is a Doctor has reassured me, the Dr. wouldn't order it unless he thought it was necessary. We must trust God gives us Dr.'s for a reason and all their training counts for something!

(The 1st pic shows what the "bump" looks like daily,...the others, after he has actually bumped it on something--although the pics don't do it justice)

We will most likely be seeing a specialist at Children's Mercy in regards to some concerns about Joel as well. When Joel first came home he had some test results with which we weren't thrilled. As a result of some new developments, some of our concerns in regards to that testing have re-surfaced. We are seeking wisdom in the direction to take in a potential 9 month treatment plan.

Your prayers are greatly appreciated!

¹ Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. ² Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— ³ who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, Psalm 103:1-3

November News

The header of my blog reads "Every Day Matters". So often I get busy with the busy-ness of life and forget to embrace this truth. So I thought I'd take a moment to recognize, enjoy and share a few of those everyday matters....one kid at a time....

Faith had a special day today at school --Grandparent's Day! She was so thrilled to have 5 grandparents attend her special "Creation Play" and character-sketch, where she chose a Bible character to dress-up as and explain what story they were known for in the Bible. She chose Mary. Why? She responds with a smile, "Because she was the mother of Jesus and that makes her special!"

Joel has been loving preschool these days! He is coming up with so many intriguing thoughts... He is also so sweet and sensitive. Lately he has been praying "Lord help me to praise you!". I love his faith!

Luke wants to be just like his big brother and is therefore practicing his climbing skills....on everything! I also took him to get a "real" haircut this week.....he looks so grown-up.

Before:

After:

The Climber:

The 3 of them together....are SO much fun and such a blessing. So many times, people in the store pass us by and make comments like.."wow,..bet you have your hands full". I always smile and reflect,..."Yes, but not as full as my heart!"

A ballerina, a bumblebee, and Spiderman at a fall dress-up party:

And climbing their Leaf Mountain!

Even One

In Honor of National Adoption Month (which happens to be this month) and Orphan Sunday (which happened to be yesterday) I am posting ANOTHER adoption video. I know I post things about adoption a lot. Ok A LOT. But I'm not gonna apologize. I guess I figure if even one person or family is challenged to help even one child in some way, than it's worth it. May what breaks God's heart break ours too.

Orphan Sunday 2011 from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

And for those who might be reading this who aren't yet a Christian, just know: when God's word says He cares for the fatherless, when it says He's the defender of the weak, and He sets the lonely in families....that means you, too. He desires to adopt you. To give you a new life, a new Hope, and a new future through His son Jesus by His amazing grace.

"Theology by the House-wife"

I was chatting with my dear friend this week about some lessons God has perhaps been trying to teach me. As I rambled on, she asked if I had ever bothered to right these things down, suggesting that perhaps one day I would want to put them in a book. I mockingly laughed at her suggestion, saying "and what would I call that 'Theology by the Housewife"?. It wasn't until a couple of days later that God laid a scripture on my heart...

And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. Rev 12:11

And so I was convicted.

Now, I think it is important to note, that I often avoid blogging because I can't help but think...what could I possibly have to say that isn't said better on 20 other sites?...or why would this interest anyone else? And while those questions still ring true, I want to say that from now on, I intend to view this blog differently. I'm going to use this blog as way to voice my testimony. I think that is what I was always doing, I just wasn't viewing it that way. I was worried more about the reader than recognizing the One who gives me the words. So, yes, I'm going to use it as a way of recording our family happenings, but also as a way of chronicling the truth God is revealing to my heart. So if you can get something out of it, great. But most of all, my desire is that He be glorified. That I hold fast to what He is teaching me and look back on His faithfulness in the valleys and the mountaintops! "It was by the word of their testimony...".

My God is more than enough for me.

When life is calm and the leaves fall beautifully from the trees around my adorable playing children...God is enough.

When the storm rages. He is enough.

When the enemy prowls seeking whom he may devour. He is enough.

When I am at the end of me. He is enough.

When our path seem uncertain, the future unclear. He is enough.

When it seems as though our hopes for the future, our dreams, are being stripped from us. He is enough.

When uncertainty clouds regarding our physical health and/or the physical health of our spouse or children. He is enough.

I am reminded, that all I need is him. To rest in Him.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. Isaiah 43:2,3

Behold, I am doing a new thing: now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19

God spoke to my mother's heart in a profound way this morning. From time to time, even after 2 years of being showered with unconditional love, my precious 4 year old son (who happens to be adopted) will have moments of meltdown and uncertainty that to me are less about his 4-yr-oldness and more about his insecurity. His insecurity as to whether he "really belongs", as to whether he is accepted unconditionally, as to whether his being "different" means we love or accept him less. Now sometimes, it is these very words that come out of his mouth. Other times, his insecurity is demonstrated in other ways,. such as in the punch that lands on the face of his "friend" who just "laughed at him" on the playground. As a parent, it breaks my heart. I would do anything to wipe away his insecurity. He need not fear or worry. We will always be here for him and always accept him. How can I make him understand?

Perhaps, for starters....I should learn this lesson myself. Am I not so different from my precious son? After all, how the Father does lavish His love on me, his adopted child, and yet I fall back into patterns of insecurity that come out in so many unflattering ways. I think if I could try harder, do more, just handle this myself.... I fail to just rest in his love. I fail to find my security in Him alone. He does not love me for how well I perform or for how well "I've got it all together". He simply and profoundly just loves me!

So even when I doubt His ways,...He loves me and He is enough.

Even when, I can't fix it....He loves me and He is enough.

Even when, I fail.....He loves me and He is enough.

Even when the dirty diaper ends up in the laundry and the laundry in the trash....He loves me and He is enough.

Even when I forget that He loves me and He is enough.....He loves me and He is enough!

Hit By a Car: A Gentle Reminder!

The kids have been in a variety of daycare and preschool settings over the past few years and since, generally speaking, Phil and I do not hesitate to leave them with a sitter, I was a little surprised at my own reaction when it came time this year for Faith to start Kindergarten and Joel Pre-K. I guess the reality of a routine including them being out of my care for as much as 8 hours every day seemed a little more monumental. Somehow, along the way I had come to equate the kids being with me to their being safe, both physically and emotionally. And I had allowed fear to settle in at the prospect of them not being in "my care".

I guess God thought it appropriate to teach me a little lesson, to give me a little reminder. So he decided to give me a little nudge. Really, a little nudge by a car! You read it right...The kids and I were walking into the grocery store, Luke "safely" on my hip, Joel's hand "safely" in mine and Faith "safely" an arm's-length away and holding Joel's hand, when suddenly a car backed out of it's parking spot right into our little procession. I tried to quickly move out of the way to keep Luke from being smashed between myself and the car, yanking on Joel's arm as his feet came out from under him, stepping over Faith (who was now on the ground) to use my body to protect her (somehow this made sense in the moment!)...and screamed. Literally, screamed at the top of my lungs AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The car stopped and those inside the grocery store came running to the widows of the front of the store gaping at the scene. It took me a few seconds to even realize what had happened. But I helped Faith up, checked every one over, assured the young man driving the car that we were ok, gently reminding him of the importance of looking before you back out, and proceeded into the grocery store through the stares and concerns of the crowd that had now gathered.

It wasn't until we were home and I was later thinking about the scenario that it dawned on me. I was right there. I had everyone within my reach. I was keeping everyone "safe" and still this happened. Really, it was only by God's grace that it turned out so well. And then I heard it....No, not audibly, but in my heart, God reminding me that in every situation it is only His provision and protection that allows any of us another day! It is not my power, ability, or control of things that keeps my children safe or healthy...it is Him.

Who did I think I was.... Beleiveing that my kid's were safe as long as they were with me....How silly of me, especially when they have a Father who is with them every moment, who will never leave them,...and who cares even more for them than I ever could.

So, sure, I miss em dearly while they are away. But I trust they are in good hands at their great school and I KNOW they are ultimately in THE MOST ABLE HANDS OF ALL! Thank you Jesus for watching over my children, when I am with them and even when I am not!

Faith's First Day of Kindergarten

Faith's teacher reassuring her (she was a little teary!)

Feeling a little better & off to class!

Joel's First Day of Pre-K

In front of school:

Playing in the classroom:

Luke is always finding new places to play!:

Psalm 5:11

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

Psalm 91:1-2

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

Psalm 121:1-8

I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip-he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you-the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm-he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

Psalm 112:7

He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD.

More Summer Fun

Just getting ready to post today and realized somehow this one got lost in the shuffle (it is from July)...I guess I got it started and never actually posted it....so better late than never....

Summer Fun Continued...

The weekend after we got back from Seattle...we had a Birthday Extravaganza. The 8th is my bday and Phil took me for a nice evening out. On Saturday,the 9th, we had a big swim party for all Faith's friends to celebrate her 5th bday:

)

I have started a tradition of trying to make the kids' cakes for their bdays, but I may need to rethink that idea if we are going to celebrate all at once! :-) After the swim party we came back to the house with the family, to celebrate Luke's 1st bday! (his bday is actually the 13th):

This is Lukie and Mommy on His actual birthday!

He can't really be one already, can he?

Playing some summer tunes....

Learning to mini-golf!

Jesus, Forks, and Spoons

Many of our dear friends, international students, are returning to the US for the Fall Semester. We often have these students to our home for fun, food, and laughter. When sharing a meal with these students we try to make them as comfortable as possible. One way of doing this is that we make chopsticks available to them.

So, after having a couple of students over for a meal last night, I was having a conversation with the kids today about our international friends.

To which, Joel proudly responded:
"I'm going to tell them about Jesus, forks, and spoons....they don't know and I will be their teacher!"

Yes, precious Joel, I'm sure you will Shine your Light for Jesus in many ways!

Congratulations!

Congratulations to my sister and her beautiful family!

Yesterday, was the official Adoption Day! What was already purposed by God from the beginning and sealed in our hearts since December became official in the legal way. Praise the Lord for the "officially" new ESPARZA's...Jerome Derek, Johnea Justice, and Joanna Abigail!

What an amazing act of love God has honored us to be a part of. So happy for you all!

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16

And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.

Matthew 18:5

Logical Thinking for a 5 yr old

One of the kids' favorite questions is "Where does__________ come from?". It can range from serious to silly. Educational to Nonsense. One way or the other, they ask the question at least 10 times a day. I thought you might enjoy today's dialogue between Faith and her friend:

Q.) Do you know where butter comes from?

A.) Yes,...milk....it's like ice cream only melted!

A.) No, it comes from butterflies...!

Too, cute!